| Author | Message | ||
| Dale McLain
Advanced Member Username: sparklingseas Post Number: 1686 Registered: 11-2004 |
Ofrenda She assembles the shrine on her back porch- sugar skulls, marigolds, votives, photographs a bowl of tomatoes, coffee beans, his Fitzgerald translation of the Rubaiyat. There is a slender stack of letters mostly from London and the Prado postcard book filled with Goyas and da Riberas. Finally she lays down the calf-skin gloves that still remember the shape of his hands, still curve as if they long to hold her. Winter waits now beyond the fat round moon, whispers through leaves that haven’t fallen. Seven autumns have come and gone- still she waits for the promised release. The gifts of time and forgetting slip through her fingers once more with every orange petal she drops, a pathway laid from the altar to call his spirit home, down the steps and across the yard. Where to stop? Where to stop? (Message edited by sparklingseas on January 11, 2006) | ||
| Ramis Cizer
New member Username: triganome Post Number: 3 Registered: 01-2006 |
I loved the imagery in the following lines - "Finally she lays down the calf-skin gloves that still remember the shape of his hands, still curve as if they long to hold her. " not to intrude on your piece but this seems like a very strong ending... .................................................. A dreamer is one who finds his way by the moonlight. His only punishment is that he see's the dawn before the rest of the world. O.Wilde | ||
| Zephyr
Senior Member Username: zephyr Post Number: 3659 Registered: 07-2003 |
A haunting poem, agree with Ramis regarding those lines, beautiful Dale.  | ||
| Gary Blankenship
Senior Member Username: garyb Post Number: 6210 Registered: 07-2001 |
Finally she lays down the calf-skin gloves that still remember the shape of his hands, still curve as if they long to hold her. Indeed these lines are best, lovely and a fine tribute. Winter waits now beyond the fat round moon, whispers through the leaves that haven’t fallen. I would drop the before leaves. Might be others. Smiles. Gary A River Transformed The Dawg House December Fireweed | ||
| Teresa White
Intermediate Member Username: teresa_white Post Number: 447 Registered: 01-2005 |
Dale, Excellent imagery throughout and with a fine attention to detail. Just love this one!! Your close is just right! Thanks for this, Teresa | ||
| ~M~
Board Administrator Username: mjm Post Number: 6279 Registered: 11-1998 |
I would say that this one is perfectly done, Dale. The question in the end was most haunting, especially to those of us who have suffered loss and wonder if the pain will ever end. My favorite section was this: "Finally she lays down the calf-skin gloves that still remember the shape of his hands, still curve as if they long to hold her." Beautiful, personal, intimate. Excellent. | ||
| LJ Cohen
Moderator Username: ljc Post Number: 3739 Registered: 07-2002 |
Dale, A terribly beautiful piece. This line really sums it up for me: The gifts of time and forgetting The gift and curse of both. I've missed your words! best, ljc Once in a Blue Muse Blog | ||
| Karen L Monahan
Intermediate Member Username: klhmonahan Post Number: 513 Registered: 08-2004 |
Dale, This is wonderful imagery, wonderful talk, but mostly, an exceptional read. Yes, I agree those gloves will stick with me for -probably- forever. (((smile))) Karen | ||
| Dale McLain
Advanced Member Username: sparklingseas Post Number: 1691 Registered: 11-2004 |
Ramis~ Thank you for your kind comments... and welcome to Wild. I look forward to reading your work. Zephyr~ Thank you so much. Gary~ Yes, you're right of course. Thanks as always. Teresa~Thank you for reading! M~ I am glad this one touched you. I appreciate your kind words. Lisa~ Thank you! I've missed all of you. It is good to be back. Thank you Karen. I appreciate that! take care all~dale (finally feeling better thanks to the marvels of modern medicine!  ) | ||
| Kathy Paupore
Senior Member Username: kathy Post Number: 2890 Registered: 12-2003 |
Dale, just lovely. The shrine, the gloves, the moon. K | ||
| Dale McLain
Advanced Member Username: sparklingseas Post Number: 1699 Registered: 11-2004 |
Thank you Kathy. I appreciate your kind words. take care~dale | ||
| Lazarus
Intermediate Member Username: lazarus Post Number: 795 Registered: 10-2005 |
Dale- I was really touched by this fine poem. I neglected to comment at the time, but I found it to be a very interesting and intimate look at one persons sense of loss. After the first stanza I couldn't believe you found more to say with such depth. I think at that point I didn't know what to say! “Something sacred, that's what they want” -Jim Morrison. From the movie “The Doors.” | ||
| Dale McLain
Advanced Member Username: sparklingseas Post Number: 1713 Registered: 11-2004 |
Lazarus~ Forgive my delay in responding to your very kind comments. I admire your work and am always eager to read your comments on mine. Thank you so much! take care~dale | ||
| Andrew Dufresne
New member Username: beachdreamer Post Number: 17 Registered: 01-2006 |
Send it out into the world. This needs to be read widely. Your magical realism calls to mind Lorca, and other Spanish poets. You aren't Spanish are you? No, I didn't think so. | ||
| Dale McLain
Advanced Member Username: sparklingseas Post Number: 1788 Registered: 11-2004 |
Andy~ Ah, you are far too generous in your comments. No, I am Spanish only in my dreams. Lorca? I wish... This is Lorca~ An icicle of moon holds her up above the water.~ but I would claim it if I could. take care~dale |
